blind optimism

Thorns and roses. Here we go:

(-) The battle in Afghanistan. If / When I am deployed, I hope it's to that theater. It's the kind of war that's been fought throughout the ages. The mujahadeen there are fierce and the supplies to our soldiers limited. As an officer, you're really out there, calling the shots.

A few days ago, Senator John Warner, (R) Virginia, challenged Senator Obama's charge that many key battle-captains are reporting resource shortfalls and are being ignored by senior commanders and Washington in general. I'm not sure if I necessarily agree with that assessment - I think it's best made by those with more information than I have and by those commanders themselves - but the day that story was breaking on the blogs, this heartrending and intrepid account of a single company in Afghanistan broke in the NYT Magazine, making Senator Warner's questioning a little ridiculous.

Well, it's a great article - maybe not if you're squeamish or hold any misconceptions of what our soldiers are facing right now in the various theaters they are engaged in. It's a realistic view, I feel, of what's happening in some regions. It's not an 'average' or aggregate account - but I don't think anyone could give a non-biased aggregate account when the war is now a political issue on the national stage.

I suppose the only thing we can do is hope for reform and realize that we cannot fix everything in a day. Things are difficult to fix and require commitment, experience, and a willingness to make mistakes. I hope we are willing to make mistakes and then to be open to the lessons learned.

In any case, I'm torn between celebrating how long I have before my training is complete and how much I want to be in the fight. Things before that I saw as necessary prerequisites of the job I now see as valuable exercises for a real shooting war. I wanted to go to Airborne school to - mostly - have a good time and get those wings. I want to go to Ranger school to learn all the 'cool stuff' and get that tab.

Maybe I'm 'getting older' and my perception of the world is changing.

Maybe it's impossible to continually consider those terrible things; things that are terribly morbid and painful for our friends and families.

I had resolved to do this three years ago. My resolve is tempered with a healthy dose of realism about what we all must face, and I'm stronger for that. It's tempered by the comrades who have gone before me and those who will come after. It's tempered by those friends and loved ones who care and hurt and mourn before you've even done anything.

But it's strong. No matter how much I try to hide it, I'm steeling myself for the days I know will come. I'm an optimistic person and sometimes I just can't understand when people are morbid about soldiering in general. Perhaps I've been inoculated by patriotism, far-away training dates, and the Army "Warrior Ethos". I don't know. It's just words.

In the end, it's all just words. I wish I were done with words. I wish it were time for action.


(+) Paul Soglin. I remember hearing about him when I was a kid, and his activism always inspired me. Does anyone remember "They Marched Into Sunlight", that excellent book which became a beautiful PBS special? I remember watching that and thinking how amazing it is to inherit such a promising country from those who came before us. I want them to know how proud they've made us, those leaders of yesterday. Maybe ten, twenty years from now we can look back and say we've on par with half their accomplishments. I know that I am looking down, trying to find their footsteps.


(+) The New York Times Crossword Puzzle. On mornings where everything seems serious, it can really lighten up your day. My hiatus has somehow made me strong and I completed nearly all of it after PT this morning.

Or - it's Monday. I guess it should just be an easy day.




I wonder why we listen to poets when nobody gives a fuck